So things are better, I think...

I don't know, he seems so unsure. I've been talking/hanging out with my friends more, including the guy I used to like. A part of me wants to move on if he's not confident about this.

This may sound cheesy, but I feel like I finally understand what it means when people say "If you really love something, you set it free". A big bag of barf, but I get it.

Can't get anything past him

Dad came home and asked me if I could take his blood pressure.

Him:"Why does your face look so melancholic*? Ow, the cuff's too tight"

*=I'm pretty sure he meant melancholic, because he used some rare Chinese word to describe my presumably sad expression. I thought I was emoting nonchalantly, he saw otherwise.

i should just focus on getting into prof school.

parents are completely against him dating
told me so in april, so its been engrained since ...forever
said he wanted to ask me out but he cant do that to his family
i essentially asked him to stop talking to me, he said he couldnt
we psedodated and much more
he thinks his parents have been reading his convos (thru icloud or something)
he freaked out, i freaked out
i dont feel like we did anything wrong, except me bf-gf-like, occasional pouts and all.
he said his parents had been very paranoid and on his case

i dont want his parents to be suspicious of him
i dont want him to resent his parents
i dont blame his parents
i sort of blame him
i also blame myself
i dont want to do this anymore
my dad was right
why he is always right
why didnt i listen to my friends
im so stupid.
what can i do now

just suck it up and ask him to be friends?
just shut up and let him deal with it?
pretend that i dont want it anymore?
tell him that my dad doesnt want me to be with him?
just stop talking to him?

i dont want to hurt him.
i also dont want to hurt.
im already hurting.
so bad.